Only in darkness —
our steps absorbing our fear
violent pardon
is it enough to feel it
it is enough to hold it
Break camp
take up the fire
move on
Only in lightness —
our fear absorbing our steps
pardon my anger
is it enough to breathe in
it is enough to breathe out
Dry leaves
flame up and burn
what harm
Z
Tanka Tuesday is back! Using mixed form: Tanka / Micro (There is probably a name for this but I’m too tired to do the work to figure it out!)
Damn!
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uh… I’ll take that as a positive?
Thanks!
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Hahaha! Yep!
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Let’s start with and end with the title — Breakup Camp? a camp where you (the voice) breaks down / has a breakdown? a camp where they teach first aid along with leather working and wood burning? This title is going to be the key to your poem.
Your mirrored stanzas are dynamite with a lit fuse. Reminds me of the photo you responded to (apple and mirror). Read together, sandwiched in my head, I am drawn into a mystery; “violent anger pardon.” That leads me to another take on your title; “We’re breaking camp, bugging out!”
Then there’s the burning of dried matter… a fire you didn’t leave behind.
Much to ponder.
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Wow! Thank you for taking so much time and effort. Yes, the title is laden. Break Camp – move on, bug out, break down – all potential ways of seeing it. I appreciate you seeing the mirrored stanzas, too. Re: the burning of dried matter – also filled with meaning. Always glad you stop by to read, Charley.
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Wow… your friend Charley, nailed all the symbolism in your words. I love that you found your way back to this challenge, Zander. The last three lines really spoke to me! Well done and welcome back! ❤
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Thank you, Colleen. I appreciate you reading and thank you for the warm welcome.
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You’re most welcome! 🤗❤️
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